Next we meet with Kayla’s (the little girl we want to adopt) social worker who, I am told, is going to grill me some more with hard questions about my past but it should all be fine. Then we should be able to start meeting with Kayla for short visits within a few weeks.
I’m going through all of the emotions one would expect. I’m worried that I won’t be a good father. I’m worried she won’t like us. I’m worried about all the bad influences I want to protect her from until she has grown the strength to know right and wrong and want to choose right. But, at the same time there is a peace. I know I have wanted a child for a long time and that I will do my best for her. I know there will be good times and bad. That’s part of life. I guess I kind of feel like any expectant father might. Except, of course, that I get to actually talk and communicate with my child from day one which relieves me to no end. I sure hope Kayla likes (or learns to like) long trips and longer conversations.
It’s nice to see how happy the rest of the family is and how supportive everyone has been. I think mom might actually be more excited than me (no, not really, I know I’m even more excited, I’m just quieter about it <grin>).